Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Request for Aid

Note: This request has been verified by Slacktiverse Authors as coming from a long-time and respected member of the community. However, because of the issues of domestic violence herein, all parties involved must remain completely anonymous. We request that community members who are already involved in this situation maintain the anonymity herein, with our thanks. 

Content Note: Domestic Violence, Food Security, Financial Abuse

I am a long time follower of the Slacktiverse and I have a friend who is in trouble. She is trying to leave an abusive husband, and he has cut them off financially. We don't live in a big city, so the area we live in doesn't have much in the way of support for victims of domestic violence, and there are no shelters in our city. She is having trouble feeding the children and is not eating enough herself.

She has to do laundry by hand because he had their electricity shut off. I let her do laundry at my house sometimes, but she has to sneak around to do it because if he finds out she'll be in trouble. This is also the reason I can't give too much identifying information about the situation or let you know who I am. If he finds out about my fundraiser, he will hurt my friend and may well take the money too. Our best chance is if he doesn't know there is money to be had.

He's abusing the children as well. I've seen bruises on their faces and backs, and they have told me that they also have bruises in places that are covered by their clothing. The oldest child recently told me about how his father had hit him the night before, in the sort of detail a child couldn't make up, and told me that he'd told his social worker too. Still, the father may well end up with custody of the children because he has a higher salary, but she's getting pro bono help from a local lawyer who is doing hir best to prevent that.

She was a homemaker before she got up the courage to leave him, and in this economy she's only managed to find some small part time work, but they don't have enough income yet to survive. He refuses to pay for the children's school lunches, and her salary isn't enough to cover their lunches this month, but they don't qualify for free school lunch because the divorce isn't finalized yet and is based on his salary.

I'm holding a fundraiser to help keep her and the children fed. Anyone who wants to help can send money via paypal to A little goes a long way. If we can raise just $100 then they'll have enough to eat this month, but I'm hoping to raise as much as I can so that my friend can have a chance to get on her feet, because they'll need money for next month too, and the month after, until things get better.

I can (anonymously) provide updates now and then on how the money was spent. This fundraiser has been in progress for a little while now privately within the community, and the money we raised in September paid for the children's school lunches that month and some second-hand back-to-school clothes and the day that batch of money arrived they got to eat some meat for dinner for the first time in a while.

You can send money in any currency, but it makes the most sense to either send it either in your home country's currency or in US dollars, to minimize currency conversion fees. Thanks so much for the help.


  1. Important Thread Notice: Advice for the OP, hypothetical musings on what will happen to the OP is she does not follow the advice, and/or attempts to locate the OP in order to provide advice are off-topic and unwelcome in this thread.

    If you decide to ignore this notice and post advice anyway, your post will be deleted without comment and I will personally hold the opinion that you are a 'splaining asshat with a shriveled up raisin where your brain would normally be located.

    Complaints about this notice may be directed to the nearest brick wall. Thank you.

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